The past few days (or couple of weeks) I have been feeling out of sorts. Some would even say blue. I'm not talking about the blue as in B.B. King blue. Where it's cool to be down and out and singing your pains. I may want to be Lucille (Ball), but I don't have a guitar with that moniker and therefore am not cool when I'm blue. I'm boring when I'm blue. No fun. LAME! I tried to shrug it off, ignore it, snap out of it. Nothing was working.
Then, I did a few things and let me tell you I am definitely on the way back UP!
After stewing for a while, which surprise surprise didn't work, I finally prayed. For myself. I can't love others if I'm not loving myself. So I sucked up my pride and prayed for me. "Love your neighbor as you love yourself" is in 3 of the 4 Gospels (Matthew 22, Mark 12, Luke 10) as well as Romans, Galatians and James. I had to do a BibleGateway search to tell you that, but you know it's of ample importance if it's worth repeating more than once in the Bible. No one wants my love when I'm a stinker, so I had to turn the ship around. Sometimes it is easier said than done. I had no warrant for my crankiness, but it was there. And it was not easily moved.
So, I dove into the Word and tried to immerse myself in the Truth. I have not been listening to God lately, and it has definitely shown. It is only fun to be selfish for a while, then it gets pretty lonely. God showered me with Romans 12:9-21 last week and the shell started to crack.
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil, cling to what is good. Honor one another above yourselves. Practice hospitality.
Jesus was advocating for me. He was rooting for me. "Rachel, you can do it! Praise me and leave your worldly thoughts at the door. I'm here, waiting and cheering you on!" I can imagine he was saying that because I know that he loves me. He loves us. He wants the best for us. And he is waiting.
He waited for me. He always has, and he always will. He desires me! The KING OF KINGS desires little 'ol ME! My heart sings with joy at the thought of Psalm 18:19,
He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.
Wait, what? Yes, he DELIGHTS in me...and you! Is there any purer joy than someone taking delight in you? In Jesus desiring your attention, your thoughts and your unique personality in his presence? I am humbled.
I am joyful.
I am a daughter of the Most High.
But.
I am not blue!
How can I be? Today alone, I have been blessed by God's Word, blessed to find an important document this morning (in the nick of time), and blessed by a great conversation with my mama. Now tonight I am blessed to have sweet time by the fire with Mr. Schalk and great jazz.
Not the blues. Tonight is a jazz night. How fitting!
P.S. Matt Marshak is great! Jazz with enough pep to keep you up and enough smooth to keep it relaxing. Check him out when you get a chance!
Thanks for your listening ear. Sometimes it's nice to "talk it out."
xoxo, Rachel
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